And it's all downhill from here
by EmeraldInk223
Summary: takes place after HBP. lots ofdrama, romance, angst, aa.... and, of course, adult scenes later on. may contain tortur, rape, abuse.. etc. rr!
1. Draco's Loss

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Draco's heart was still hammering madly, even though he had been sitting immobile for at least five minutes. Had it really been five minutes? It could have been hours for all he knew. All that was certain was that it was now dark outside, which could mean anything, as it was dark when he was running too. Running for his life. From his last chance…

Draco attempted to get up. Currently, he was slumped against a wall, attempting to think straight. He kneeled, trying to push himself up, only to have his feet slip out from underneath him, having his gorgeous blonde head sent smacking against the wall that had been supporting him.

Just how badly had this whole ordeal screwed with him?

He sat for a few more moments, now nursing the back of his head. And he had just thought the throbbing couldn't get worse…

'Okay,' He thought, taking large, deep breaths. 'Okay. So I just ran faster than I fucking knew possible off of Hogwarts grounds, after almost killing Dumbledore… okay, so I didn't almost kill him, I just kind of stood there…. Freaking out….. why didn't I do it…… oh shit…. Oh shit, oh shiiit…..'

The horrible feeling of having ice for innards swiftly returned; it had only subsided when he smacked his head, and now was back with twice its' force. He had not killed Dumbledore. He had not completed his job. What was going to happen to him?

Perhaps…. Perhaps he wouldn't be punished after all…. He HAD successfully gotten the death eaters into Hogwarts… and Dumbledore WAS dead, even if he hadn't done it. Maybe he would even be praised….but still…..

Well, that brought him to now. He sat, still slumped, in his own hallway. In his haste to get off Hogwarts grounds, he apparated to the first place that popped into his head- Home, and he wasn't ashamed to admit it. Well, not at the moment anyways, later he would probably deny it at all costs. At the moment, however, he was safe in his own territory, his beloved mansion, with his mother most likely snoozing away upstairs.

Draco knew deep down he couldn't stay here long, the Dark Lord would be expecting him after Snape showed up, for sure… yet he couldn't find the strength in him to stand, still.

'What am I, a pansy? Honestly…' He thought angrily to himself, forcing himself up. The blood instantly rushed to his head, making it throb more than ever. "Fuck…" He muttered, as he shook his hair out of his face. He would just ignore it for now.

Draco formed the obvious plan in his head. He would go wake his mother, she would no doubt want to be informed of everything that has happened, especially by him. SHE would be proud, he thought, proud that he was cunning enough to get the death Eaters into Hogwarts without Dumbledore ever knowing. Besides, she would probably have excellent advice on what to do next, even though he was pretty obvious that would be to return to the Dark Lord. Yet it always seemed much more logical when she explained it….

Deep down, His mother was the only person he loved with all his heart. Sure, he loved his Dad, but it was more of a respect thing with his Father. He never really felt like he could poor his heart out to him, tell him all of his troubles and what-not, and expect him to hug him and say he loved him. No, he would be less surprised to see his father reach for a belt and tell him to stop being a Goddamn pussy. His mother would, however, take him in her arms without hesitation and, if Draco felt the need to, cry his eyes out. And he always felt so much better after he did.

Of course, this was top secret to Draco and his Mum, if anyone else were to know this he would probably die of pride failure.

He quietly started to ascend the stairs when he heard a noise. It sounded almost like a rattling… like chains, clinking together….. He turned around, tense and alert.

His large, intricate window sill was fogging at an alarming rate, the whole house seemed to have dropped thirty degrees…. And a cold, plummeting feeling was deep in his stomach…..

But no… it couldn't be…..

Before Draco even saw the actual dementor, he was tearing upstairs. "Mum!" He cried as he ran, "Mother! You have to get up, we have to get out of here!"

He kicked open the door to the master bedroom to see his Narcissa sitting up in her bed, looking like she'd just been slapped in the face. "Dr-draco? Why… why are you here, what's going on? My Lord, it's three in the-"

"We have to go, now!" Draco cut her off. He grabbed her arm and pulled her off of her bed, dragging her to the door and down the stairs. The whole house now was icily cold, Draco could see his breathe as he panted.

"What in fucking God's name…' Narcissa was muttering. She knew perfectly well that there were dementors here, that was more than obvious, but as to WHY they were there at the Malfoy manor….

Draco was just as confused as she was.

"We've got to go, we've got to go…" Draco was muttering quickly to himself. He glanced at the front door, it was the closest exit. But to his horror, he saw his doorknob slowly turning…. He heard the lock click, it was evidently broken….. his heart seemed to freeze…..

And on that split second, every horrible feeling he had ever felt came rushing back to him, every time he was humiliated… he saw his parents fighting, screaming….. he remembered the first time his heart was broken, something he thought impossible for a handsome Malfoy…. He was remembering how it felt to be turned into a ferret in front of his enemies, bouncing like a moron…..

He tried desperately to snap out of it. He turned to see his mother sinking to the floor, opening her mouth yet with no words coming out.

"We have… we must …" Draco dragged her with all his might, using every ounce of concentration he could muster on getting to the back door…. The dementors were so close behind them, yet he didn't look back….

To his relief, the back door was unlocked, and seemed to fall open to his touch. He was sure, for that fleeting moment, that they were safe, they would make it…

The relief lasted only a moment, when, to his unbelievable horror, he saw two more. It was as if they were waiting for them. The horrible sinking feeling swept through Draco again, and he felt his Mum stagger and fall to her knees.

No… this couldn't be happening….. they were both going to die…..

He quickly thought of anything that could help them now… he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, there was no way he could apparate, there was nothing he could do…. They were coming closer, they were all around them, there was no escape….

He saw potter winning against the dragon in the triwizard tournament…. he had just failed to catch the snitch when it was right by him… Potter was surrounded by people, all laughing… happy….. because of stupid Potter….

Potter! Hadn't he fought off dementors before? What had he said…? … what did he do…..?

_"Expecto… batronum…" _ Draco guessed desperately. Nothing happened. He was unpleasantly surprised, too, when he found himself on his knees, unaware of ever falling.

This was it, it was all over, he and his mother were worse than dead…

Just feet away now…. Maybe it would be painless…..

That was when he turned to face her. She would be that last thing he looked at, he thought, the last image would be of his loving mother… but his mother was not there. She was staggering onward, away from him, flailing her arms like wings. Later, it would become obvious to Draco that she was trying to catch their attention.

It had worked too, though it was not her arm flailing that distracted them. It was her sudden uproar of defiance they had detected, this sudden will-power that only a mother could get, that made the dementors quickly change their minds as to which host they would prefer.

Within seconds they had caught up to her, she had only managed to run a few yards. She collapsed to her knees again, her eyes closed, and would have fallen forward if not for one of the dementors delicately cradling her chin in its' hand. The dementor lowered its hood and leaned in….

Draco's vision seemed blurred, it was as if he were watching this whole event through stain glass, and that it wasn't actually happening. There was his mother, as beautiful and as loving as he had ever seen her…

He gingerly got to his feet, amazed that he could even do that. He just needed to get to her, quickly, now…

And then, unexpectantly, his mother opened her eyes, even though the dementor was less than an inch from her gorgeous, pale face. Her brilliant blue eyes met Draco's cold, gray ones, and for a moment, all space seemed to freeze. No emotion could have been stronger than the one felt in the heart stopping moment…. Was it love? Passion? Sorrow? Was it, perhaps, more?

Then, she opened her mouth, forming one, simple word…. Though her voice failed to cooperate, and though he wouldn't have been able to hear it even if it had, it was obvious what she had said…..

_…Go._

And then it happened, the dementor closed the space between itself and Narcissa, and a brilliant white light shone, brighter than Draco had ever seen. The Dementor eagerly inhaled it; the light had barley a moment to shine in the darkness before it was gone… Narcissa would never come back….

Draco's mouth was dry. "Mum?" He had tried to say, only to discover his voice had left him too. No, no it couldn't be, that hadn't really just happened, he was having a nightmare…..

One of the dementors turned to face him. If he didn't act now, he thought frantically, he would surely be caught… he would face the same fate as his mum…

They were advancing on him…

Guilt seemed to have temporarily frozen him, but soon reality shot back, forcing the feeling to return to his legs….

He had no choice.

He ran.

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Well.. that's chapter one for you…. REVIEW!


	2. The Last Ride Home

The train ride had been an unnaturally quiet one, as could easily be assumed. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna had all shared a single compartment, and there was a silent understood agreement between them- This would probably be their last trip together.

Well, in truth, this was only known to Harry, Ron and Hermione. How would the others react when they found out that they would not be retuning to Hogwarts? How would Ginny react?

When there weren't awkward moments of silence, the group would reminisce on the past years together, most of which involved the DA or quidditch matches. Harry praised Neville on what an amazement he had proved with his unexpected DADA skills, and they laughed half-heartingly at the time Dobby came rushing in, forewarning them of Umbridge. Harry had filled them in on how he had been caught by Malfoy; at the time it was horrific, but now he could share with them how humorous it must have looked, him running at full speed only to be sent flying a good three yards as he tripped. This, of course, led to a bashing session of Umbridge, and to the memorable escape of Fred and George, which led to Quidditch. They explained the last game for Harry, something that hadn't yet properly been done.

"… And if you thought I was good at the LAST match, you should have seen me then…. Sure, a few goals got in, but I made up for it…." Ron trailed off, not wanting to tell his own tale of amazement for fear he might look too full of himself.

"Yes, he was amazing." Hermione picked up for him, smirking. "There was this one save where he actually blocked it with his head… no damage done of course…"

"Ha, you're hilarious." Ron said sarcastically. "You couldn't have told them about the one where I fell from my broom, and just barely hung on, and kicked the quaffle to Katie… just like that one at practice, Harry! Except I didn't do it on accident…" Most of them laughed, except Luna and Neville, who of course had no idea of what happened at practice.

"And you should have SEEN the look on Cho's face when I caught the snitch." Ginny chimed in. "She must have felt really dumb, she was giving one of her teammates advice on a barrel roll or something when I saw it, I was miles ahead of her when she noticed."

"Yeah," Ron laughed, "when she got to the ground, she threw another one of her little fits, it couldn't have been more obvious that she _really_ wanted to win… with you gone, they thought they had it in the bag."

"And to top it all off," Neville added, with an admirable look at Luna, "Luna commented the whole thing…. 'And look', he reenacted, 'Cho Chang seems to be doing a Hicknuffle mating dance now that she's landed on the ground… someone should stop her, hicknuffles tend to cause deafness to those nearby… and which case, we wouldn't be able to hear the lovely cheers from the Gryffindor stands.', It only made her angrier."

They all laughed again, Harry looked at Luna in disbelief. "You really should commentate next year, Luna…. You know, if…."

And this caused another uncomfortable pause.

The trolley came and went, none of them bought anything. Appetites seemed to be running low lately.

After about an hour filled with some more forced conversation, the train pulled into Kings' Cross station. Harry vaguely thought to himself that this had been the only trip from Hogwarts where Malfoy had not come to interrogate him… well, obviously, but it was a change all the same….

As they carried their luggage out of the trains, they noticed that other pupils on the train seemed to almost part as the passed. Romilda Vane spotted them, and gave Ginny a contemptuous glare, and quickly gave Harry what she must have thought was a flirty smile. He ignored her. Crabbe and Goyle also spotted them, giving Harry glares nearly as loathsome as Romilda's, and Cho was still determidly not catching Harry's eye. Besides these few exceptions, however, there was an air of reverence as they passed.

After passing through the barriers, Harry was somehow surprised to see his Uncle, Aunt, and Cousin waiting for him. He had almost completely forgotten about them, seeing as he had been looking forward to never seeing them again. Yet here they were, waiting as always, looking both angry and terrified. And yet, they had no idea what had happened only days ago, nor would they care….the familiar hate rose inside him, but he would choose to ignore it… for now…

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were, somehow, waiting for them when they arrived, though Harry couldn't understand why, hadn't they been with their son moments ago? And paying their last respects, just as they had?

As if to answer his confused look when they approached, Mr. Weasley said, "Just apparated a few minutes ago, we figured you'd be here soon."

They all nodded, and said their goodbyes to Neville and Luna, who went to join their families. "Keep in touch, Harry, you know I'll do anything to help." Neville added quickly so that only Harry could hear, as he shook his hand. Harry swelled with admiration when Neville said this.

"Of course." Said Harry, his voice rather dry. "And I'm only an owl away, too."

Neville smiled. "Have a good holiday… and see you next term!" he added hopefully, loud enough for them all to hear, and they all answered politely. It really tore at Harry's heart, seeing Neville leave with the false idea that he would see Harry at school next term. If the school was even open, anyways, he reminded himself. But he had always had a certain respect for Neville… he deserved pity so much more than he did, and his fate could just as easily have been his…

These thoughts were quickly rushed out of his mind, however, when he saw that Mr. Weasley was in a conversation with his Uncle, who could not have made it plainer that he would rather be hammering a drill into his own head. He must have been explaining how Harry would only be staying for a short while.

Harry desperately wanted to have a last few words with just Hermione and Ron, but Ginny and Mrs. Weasley were right there, he therefore seized his opportunity when Mrs. Weasley started to fix Ginny's hair and mutter something inaudible to her.

"Hermione, Ron…." Harry muttered quickly, as they took several steps away from them, I'll send you an owl in a few days, and then we'll decide things… Actually, I bet I could use the phone now…" Harry thought suddenly as the idea struck him. "Here, Hermione, this is my number, and we have three way calling…here, Ron…" he hastily pulled out a small piece of parchment and tore it in half, writing numbers on each of them. "Don't lose that."

"But… I thought we were going with you…" Ron said as he pocketed the parchment.

"Well, obviously you should have some time to your families!" Harry said as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

Ron looked slightly taken aback. "Well…I agree… I'd like to spend a few days with my parents…" Hermione said tentatively. "But then… then we'll leave." She finished, her voice was shaky yet confident.

"…alright." Ron agreed. He looked from Harry to Hermione. "It's just odd that… that this is the last time we may be here, at Kings' Cross…."

At this, Hermione sniffed, and brushed the hair out of her face. 'Of c-course it won't be! We'll be back… I know we will…oh…" And she threw herself around the pair of them, fresh tears streaming. Ron and Harry returned the hug awkwardly, the three of then had never had a group hug before.

We'll then... I'll…. I'll talk to you both in three days then." She said, wiping away tears. And then she departed, after wishing them a happy holiday and giving Ron a quick kiss, causing him to go slightly red.

"She's an odd one, that girl…" Ron said, putting his hand to his check where she had kissed him, yet he was beaming.

But Mrs. Weasley, unfortunately, had seen the whole thing.

"Ronald-why- what was that?" She said, her attitude about the situation unknown.

"N-nothing, mum." he said. Harry bit back a laugh.

"But I just saw- you and Hermione- oh, Ronald!" She cried, her face breaking into a smile, as she trapped him in a rib-cracking hug. "I always thought- but this is wonderful news- we simply MUST celebrate when she visits-"

"Whoa, whoa, mum, you're making a big deal out of this… we're not even officially, well, you're making a huge deal of nothing, really…" His ears were now as read as his hair.

"They're not the only new couple, you know." Ginny said casually, joining in the conversation. Harry choked.

"Wh-? What do you mean, Ginny?" She looked very expectant.

"Nothing," Harry answered before she could speak. "No other couples." He could feel Ginny's cold eyes on him, and guilt plagued his stomach, but was rescued from awkward questions when Mr. Weasley came over.

"Well, Harry, I've told them how we've invited you to our house after your birthday, for the wedding and such. And that, sadly, you will come of age, and may not need to return, though you may visit."

Harry laughed stiffly. "Yeah, after this I'll be about as welcome in their house as Kreacher." He said, before turning and waving one last time and thanking Mr. Weasley. He gave Ginny one last meaningful look, hoping that she wouldn't say anything in his absence. Yet seeing the look of frustration in her eyes, he felt guiltier than ever.

He grudgingly got into the car with his so called family, departing with what could possibly be his last time from King's Cross Station.

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Okay, I know that chap sucked, but ive got to get over the boring stuff first.. and there will be lots more Draco, obviously. r/r! (isn't it ironic how I got 14 hits but 1 review? Le sigh) later


	3. Draco's luck

He was clutching his side so tight that his hand was numb, yet he seemed to have not noticed. His breath was rigid, and if it were up to him he would still be running. Yet his body seemed to not be cooperating with him anymore.

Draco Malfoy fell to the ground on a muggle sidewalk. _"No…."_ he thought, his instinct for survival sinking with him. He was going to surely die here if he just stopped, He'd be found, there was no choice, he MUST get up…..

And yet, he found himself slumped over, still breathing harder than ever, his blonde hair falling elegantly into his face.

_"….I… no….." _

He opened his mouth, in an attempt to form words, his jaw aching in retaliation.

"…help…." It came out as a raspy whisper.

And suddenly, the dim street lights, which had been his only source of comfort, went dim.

Draco Malfoy hadn't asked for help in 9 years…

--

The car Harry was in finally pulled up to number 4, Privet Drive after what seemed many hours. It looked just the same as it always did, the flowers and the lawn looking too perfect, a normal little home for a normal little family.

Well, almost normal, he thought.

Harry went around to the back of the car and started to unload his trunk; the Dursley family, predictably went on inside without offering help. He smirked; the filthy bastards, in a few weeks time he would never have to see them again.

As he walked inside, after opening the door for himself (this alone was a feat, for he had all of things plus Hedwig with him) he distinctively hear his Uncle say something along the lines of "Get the paper, boy." He ignored him spectacularly.

And that was about as exciting as the day was, Harry merely unpacked his things within an hour, and lay down on his bed, suddenly exhausted.

Everyone seemed to be taken away from him, everything he cared about, anyways. He had already lost his parents, his godfather, who was the next best thing to a parent, and now, now he had lost the only one he had ever thought could help him…. Soon enough, he thought miserably, he would have nothing to lose…

He felt guilty for having Hermione and Ron help him. He knew that they were getting into unlimited danger, and all just for him... but he found himself unable to deny their help, he felt so comforted to know he was not COMPLETELEY alone… though that was inevitably come, the prophecy would have to come true someday…

Harry rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow. How would he cope if he lost one of them? If he lost BOTH of them? While he told himself it would not happen, surely not, he found himself much more fearful that he had ever been… And then there was the prospect of Ginny... if someone had found out they had been together, she could possibly be in greater danger than anyone…. But no, surely not, he told himself again…. And yet….

After all, he had been sure Sirius could not have been gone. He thought he was sure his godfather could simply laugh at death and walk away…

He fell into an uneasy rest, full of dreams of he and Ginny, enjoying a lovely summer's day together on the beach, when a great, black dog came bounding up to them…. Ginny laughed and pet him, Harry smiled…. the sunset turned the most lovely shade of pink, and later, when Harry would awake, he would find that his pillow was rather tear-stained.

--

"… Oh, the poor dear… We couldn't just LEAVE him there, honey…"

"I never said we should have. I said we should have called the police. But no, it was you and you're 'He doesn't need the police right now, he needs a warm bed and food, the 'poor dear'…honestly, woman…"

Draco opened his eyes slightly, his surroundings seemed very unrecognizable. Though that could be due to the blurriness, he told himself.

"I know, I can't help it, I- Oh, look Henry, I think he's coming around!"

Draco heard a very motherly voice say. A very plump, old looking woman came hurrying over to him, she must have been in her 60's or so, with white hair that was neatly tied into a bun, wearing what appeared to be a home-made , pink sweater with hearts on it. Behind her stood a very strict looking old man, in a business suit, looking as though he just got home from work. He seemed to be the woman's own age.

"Are you alright, honey? Are you hurt?" She asked kindly, sitting on the edge of the bed he had been laid in.

Before responding, Draco took a moment to look over his surroundings. He appeared to be in a little boy's room; the wallpaper was blue with racecars all over it, there was a small clock in the shape of some muggle thought up superhero whom Draco did not know, and the headboard had various action figures and stuffed animals that were expertly arranged. It was oddly clean and dust free; Draco got the distinct impression that no one had used this room anymore.

He turned his head to face her; she had many smile wrinkles and stunning green eyes.

"I'm okay, thanks… how did I get here?"

She smiled. "My husband and I were driving home, he had just gotten off work, and I was at the grocery store, so he came and got me… we only have one car, you see… and I thought, It's such a lovely evening, let's take the scenic route! And it was a good thing we did, because we saw you lying on the side of the road… we thought you… well, we weren't optimistic, but you were still breathing and seemed fine, so we brought you back here…."

She patted Draco on the shoulder, before standing up. "Well, what you need now is some nice, hot soup, we'll have plenty of time for talking later…." And she gave him one last smile before leaving the room.

The man that stood behind her gave him a slightly contemptuous look before leaving himself, not saying a word.

Draco propped himself up on his elbows, only to find that he was still shaking. What would have happened if these muggles had not found him, he thought….

He rubbed his eyes. He knew very well he could not stay here, not for more than a night. It would be far too dangerous.

But that was no excuse to pass up a free meal and bed for a night, that would be foolish. _I'll regain some strength first, _he thought, _and then I'll leave when they're unaware…_

But leave to where?

He would have to be an outcast, live among the muggles and filth… It was an intolerable thought, living as a poor muggle, but he could see no alternative. There was no way he could possibly go back to Voldemort now, now that he had fled. And they were sure to be looking for him now…

And the terror of it all came crashing down, and though he knew it already, the real dread did not hit until now…

_I was not supposed to live through last night…_

Those dementors were not just meant for his mother…. He beautiful mother who never did anything…. Hi mother, who was both faithful and devoted to her husband ad the Dark Lord… But she was Lucius's wife and _his_ mother, so she had to be killed not foe what SHE had done, but for whom she was, who she was close to…

For revenge…

Draco laid back down again; his head now pounding almost as bad as it had been the night he ran from Potter.

He wanted to sleep, he wanted not to think, but there was no escape from it… most of all, he wanted his mother by his side to soothe away his fears, to tell him she loved him…. To simply be with him would mean everything…

But she would spend forever, he thought tragically, worse than dead, an empty shell...

Eventually, the room around him blurred.

--

Well… theres chap 3. r and r!


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